Time of the Sea Goat

Dick Nixon -- A Fallen Cap

It is only weeks away from 2009 and suddenly, we, in the western hemisphere, are in the midst of the winter solstice and I, for one, am really feeling it. Outside it is dark and cold and Christmas music is blaring in every retail outlet that I wander into. Every year this sudden “winterization” and Yuletide megabomb happens up here in Vermont and it all seemingly takes place right out of nowhere. The snows fall and holiday traffic locks everything up and it all becomes tedious bedlam. Indeed, Hanukah and Christmas Eve (Eid has already ended) are approaching and with these cultural milestones our direct movement towards shorter and darker days will finally end, but the movement toward the gradual increase in daylight hours and sunshine seems deathly slow going at this point.

These sensations and perceptions are all part and parcel of “the slowest time of year.” As the lights dim, we are all forced to take stock of our prior year if not “our entire lives” and to feel that it was all worth it (or not!). As the freneticism of the holiday season blazes on, it is often impossible to slow everything down and to simply accept where we all are positioned. The snow keeps falling and the holidays can make us feel that we are not “where we wanted to be.” I am here, but I really wanted to be there! And of course there is no escape to “there” – whatever “there” may represent to you personally. This is the difficult feeling of the holidays.

This very deep feeling of taking stock of your life and your place within it is beautifully aligned within the sign of Capricorn that begins during the winter solstice. Even though I am only a Capricorn rising, I believe that I understand a bit about this sun sign, especially because many of my friends are double Caps. These folks are a force to contend with to be sure. They are powerful and ever moving toward big goals, yet they are careful in existing in the definite present as they slowly aim quite high in their life pursuits.

The saturnine quality of the Capricorn is undeniable. There is a stark realism to the Capricorn native and even though this realism may result in the ultimate kill joy effect, it is very much a permanent state of affairs with Capricorn. The sober light of day is where the Capricorn native exists best.

As a large peasant family sits around the table during the middle ages in present day Eastern Europe, let’s say on January 1st, the decision must be made as to what animal needs to be killed, so as to have enough food to get through to spring. A wrong choice could very well result in starvation of the family or the destruction of further animal husbandry. This kind of high stakes decision making is what the sea goat excels at. He or she or it knows how to survive and how to plan accordingly.

Here, then, is where the Capricorn resides. The Capricorn native is more able to make this decision than any other sign. They know the right way to turn from within their very bones! And of course Saturn tends to govern bones and the skeleton. The relationship between time and the human skeleton is one of the most undeniable connections that exist on planet earth. Cappie feels the aging process taking place. Gravity slowly pulls everything down. The seriousness of time passing is a wave length that anyone touched by Saturn understands.

The connection, then, between Christ’s birth (though probably not the right birthday – most sources point to him as being Aquarian) and Capricorn is apparent in a little baby sleeping in the hay. Mary and Joseph have no money nor do they have a hotel/motel room and they don’t even have Skype. Yet, they have hope and some wonderful stars glimmering in the sky and they can simply wait it all out. Peace be onto all beings.

An astrologer’s worst feelings of self-doubt and self-loathing tend to accompany a horribly botched natal chart, an incorrectly guessed sun sign (this often happens in a crowded environment i.e. loud bar!) or a transit read incorrectly… and realistically this can happen any old time for astrology is no easy art form to master or even to influence -- it would seem to be pure geometry, astronomy, art and feeling. Proponents of the scientific method need not apply. It is all in the interpretation.

I profess to not being able to even perform transit readings and I am still awaiting the time when I can begin to study angles correctly for I was absolutely terrible at high school geometry and to this day angles seem difficult for me to read or interpret. Several real astrologers have told me that at some point they will help me to begin understanding the angles when I finally commit to it, but at this writing my wife and I are busy moving into our new condominium, so once again, it would appear that learning about angles and transit charts will have to be put off for a while longer. All in good time I say!

For now I am still content reading more about the planets, the houses and about understanding their relationships within particular charts while furthering my sense of even the simple sun signs. As a fledgling astrologer and as an English instructor, I hope to feel content as a grounded observer of planets and elements as they flow through the lives of us complicated humans and to write about these movements, if at all possible. We humans are also always changing. The human life is infinitely complex and to study it takes incredible fortitude. Our natal charts and inner natures are difficult to understand and they are all worthy of several lifetimes of study – too bad we probably only have just one!

In any event, it is worth a try and the story that I have now embarked upon describing in this month’s blog entry is one in which for over fifteen years I misidentified the sun sign of a friend and band mate of mine from the musical group “Blue Harvest”. This misidentification has to do with this month’s sun sign being, of course, Sagittarius. Yes, I realize that Scorpio falls into this month as well – but that was last month’s column…

Before getting into the specifics about the sign of the archer, let me share some of my personal history having to do with playing in a particular band. Blue Harvest was a blues and rock band that was around in the early nineties in Boston consisting of yours truly on guitar, AJ Jackson on bass, numerous drummers including Dean Sommese, Rebecca Harold on keyboards and lead vocal and Jean Hlady on piano and vocal. We tended to play a mixture of blues-based material and often we would churn out some current rock standards.

Not only was Blue Harvest an eclectic mix of folks, it was also a thirsty band and I can remember one gig at Sir Morgan’s Cove in Worcester, MA at which we were paid in drinks alone and if I remember correctly, we “earned” plenty of “money” that night. And though we were perhaps just pikers starting out, we did play with taste and conviction if not with perfect precision as a result of our “pay”. And always we did strive towards making a connection with the audience no matter who they were. Rainy Sunday night shows, however, were especially difficult for “connecting” – probably because there was no one in the tavern! In addition, we would get on stage with no sound check and the inevitable sounds of feedback would ring out from time to time and I remember that the monitors never quite had the right mix in them.

I will always remember when it was time for Jean to sing some songs in our set like “Heat Wave” by Martha Reeves and the Vandellas; Jean would really put out a wonderful spirit involving full voice and jumpy stage energy! In fact, Jean was able to interpret a song that had migrated from decades before into the early nineties because she was able to to summon up that same level of positive energy from within a much different time period with both precision and grace.

The audience would love it.

Jean would later be responsible for writing a character review & analysis of my personality that would allow me to eventually make my way into the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. As a respected librarian in Watertown, Jean was able to mention some of the skill sets that I possessed and that would eventually aid me with negotiating difficult classroom work and student instruction. And until graduate school, I had no idea how much I would need those supposed skill sets!

While I feel that I was close to all the members of Blue Harvest, I always felt a distinct connection with Jean. She was a bit older than I was and though she could mix a mean gin & tonic, she always had her shit together as a mother and as a wife to the Boston-based guitarist and Berklee professor Craig Hlady of the group Holiday Bash. She was always successfully accomplishing any assorted number of tasks. Outside of her many “adult” (I was just a kid during those times, or so it seemed) responsibilities, Jean would still show up at band practice with optimism and energy and I always respected her for that. The five of us would gab incessantly; we’d drink mixed drinks from a thermos and then get down to trying to play the cover tune that we were rehearsing; on occasion we played some of my originals. Again, we did some older R&B, some current POP tunes and many a blues number.

I will always hear in my mind the rehearsing of the song “Sad, Sad, Sad” by the Stones and Jean complaining about the lack of chord changes (the verses were really only F major to C and C sus4). Yeah, it was boring for the pianist to be sure. Suddenly, though, a bridge section cropped up during the song and at least 5 different chord changes suddenly popped out. Jean then complained about the number of chord changes! No matter what was going on in the world – Jean told it like it was. She was a steady Capricorn to be sure! She had that Capricornian sensibility all around her.

After Blue Harvest imploded, I lost contact with Jean, but I remembered that a Capricorn had given me a new solidity and a new lease on life. Jean’s steadiness was moving me forward too.

Fast forward to Montpelier, Vermont, in late October of this year of 2008. I hadn’t seen Jean in over a decade.

Wow! As I walked into Rhapsody, a health-conscientious restaurant in down town Montpelier, I nervously awaited Jean’s arrival… I know that we had both aged and “moved on” … would we still have those great conversational flare ups like we had all those years ago?

Suddenly, Jean was there! Wow! I couldn’t believe it. Jean hadn’t changed much at all and we nervously tried to decide what to eat. My wife, Deborah, was with me and together the three of us stumbled around figuring out what was good on the menu. Abruptly, I started to talk to Jean about what we should drink and then the old dialogue started in again. We had a choice of only beer or sake and then we started to recount the benefits of each kind of liquor – this was classic Blue Harvest dialogue…whose liver would last the longest?

Eventually, we all settled upon a table and pulled up our food trays and sakes. For the first time I really looked at Jean and she looked fine. Her hair was still luxurious and chestnut and she was smiling with a sense of joy. I suddenly felt secure about all of the long years that had gone by. I know that we weren’t the same people, but I knew that we would still be friends without a doubt.

As we sat talking about the obvious updates to our lives, it struck me that Jean was speaking quickly and that I was getting a sense of “burning through ideas and a relentless catch up.” Within my body there was a feeling of freneticism, which I didn’t normally put down as Capricorn energy. Usually as I hang out with a Capricorn person, I usually get a sense of solidness and ground and even a certain kind of slowness. It is a feeling of safety and of “Oh, here we are. All is OK.” Although Capricorn energy can get heavy at times, it is certainly grounding! As a triple air sign, I find it extremely beneficial to spend time with anyone who possesses the qualities of heavy earth for it certainly grounds me to the spot in a beneficial manner. Yet here we were sitting and I was tiring quickly as we shot through pictures and various stories.

I didn’t know anything about astrology in Blue Harvest days and almost as a sudden wish Jean blurted out a story about how she and her husband Craig first dated decades ago on his birthday of Christmas Eve: December 24! OK … so at least he is a Capricorn.

“Jean … when is your birthday?” I asked this last question sheepishly.

“Oh, it’s great because it is in the same month as Craig’s … December 20th.”

Suddenly the burning feeling and the freneticism and bubbling joy was making sense – Jean was a Sag. Duh, Erik. How had I made up a whole history of her being this solid and heavy Cappie?

As I was whisked away into my past years, I suddenly thought about Jean’s being late sometimes, her wild optimism about how something fun was always going to happen (it usually did) and how she was continually setting new directions for her young son and husband (translation: sending arrow after arrow into the sky). Then I noticed her chestnut hair and happy-go-lucky smile and there it suddenly all was!

Now certainly it can be argued that Jean is almost a cusp and an adult … why not make her into a Capricorn?

Well, I guess that depends on how strongly you believe in the power of 12 sun signs. You can’t really be 2 at one time – it just doesn’t work. Now if Sagittarius begins on the 22nd of November, then really, as far as I can tell, Jean is always going to lead with a little bit of fire and a strong ability and desire to escape the confines of home since she is a December 20. Of course I don’t know her rising sign, but for now, let’s not go there. A Sag is a Sag: Tina Turner, Jimi Hendrix, Noam Chomsky and Britney Spears … the arrow flies and flies fast and high! Sag is nothing if not ebullient energy.